Masturbation can be defined as “self-stimulation to cause sexual
sensations”. The use of the word masturbation usually suggests
that the person is manipulating his or her genitals to the point
of intense pleasure or orgasm. (Orgasm refers to a period of intense
excitement in which genital muscles enter in to a series of highly-pleasurable
contractions or movements).
While masturbation
can involve another person, most of us think of it as a very private
act. According to some health care providers masturbation allows
a healthy way to express & explore your sexuality and to release
sexual tension without all the associated risks of sexual intercourse. Health professionals
generally agree that this private touching is a natural, normal
mode of self-exploration and sexual expression. Unfortunately,
after the excitement of the moment has passed, many people find
themselves filled with guilty and or shame.
Why
All This Guilt and Shame?
A
little bit of American History:
Our attitudes about masturbation have deep roots for sure. Around
the turn-of-the-century, some adults were so against masturbation
that they forced their daughters to wear gloves made of a steel-wool-like
material (like Brillo pads) at night and to put a powder on their
genitals that made them painful to touch. They made their sons
wear metal chastity belts at night that made it painful to have
an erection. During the 1820s male masturbation was prevented
by piecing the foreskin with a wire and soldering the ends together.
Boys and girls were discouraged from masturbation by the threat
of blindness, madness and illness. Of course, all of these are
not true.
Of course,
the subject of masturbation was taboo years before the United
States was created. All kinds of chastity belts and other devices
were used to prevent masturbation, probably as far back in history
as you can go. This will vary from culture to culture.
The
Truth? Most
surveys suggest that approximately 94% of teenage males "admitted"
that they masturbated and about 70% of teen females "admitted"
to this also. It’s always hard to establish absolute truth
in any survey on sexuality and sexual behavior, since they are
influenced so much by what people think is "normal". It is important
to note the word "admitted" in the results of these surveys.
Doesn't that word imply something shameful about the act of masturbating?
We think so. This leads us to believe that we are still suffering
from the residual Victorian morals when boys and girls were discouraged
from masturbating.
Teaching Masturbation, you asked? Yes, Believe
it or Not! In
the 1970's and 1980's, a woman named Betty Dodson,Ph.D., achieved
much fame from her approach to masturbation. She actually held
classes for women to teach them how to masturbate. She thought
that in order for women to overcome certain degrees of repression
that she believed were instilled by the church, women needed to
learn how to "celebrate" their bodies. She made the point that
masturbation needed to be celebrated, and not allowed to create
guilt. She admitted that overcoming guilt was very difficult --
for men & women, especially when the guilt was instilled by the
voice of their mothers at an early age. Mother's told children
not to touch themselves "down there" and wow, what an embarrassment
if the child did that in public!
For many people the consequence of our mothers' or fathers' difficulty
with our innocent sexuality when we were toddlers and infants
may be the reason that the experience and enjoyment of our own
bodies is taken away from us, or we are still allowed (made) to
feel ashamed in some way when we feel pleasure from exploring
our own bodies.
Even More Taboo. In
1994 Dr. Jocelyn Elders, the first woman appointed to the position
of U.S. Surgeon General, lost her job as Surgeon General because
she dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught in
schools. We think her mistake was when she said,"It's practicing
for sex" . She never implied that a method of masturbation
be taught, or did she? Many think she meant it was a way of keeping
teenagers from becoming pregnant. The inadequate (or lack of)
birth control methods taught in public schools at that time was
what she was most likely referring to.
Masturbation
Myths -- There Are Lots More of Course.
"Masturbation
isn't "real sex" and only losers masturbate."
Not true. According to some sexuality experts people who masturbate
tend to function better sexually when with a partner since they
know their own body and have fulfilled sexual expression.
If you masturbate
you will go blind or bald or get acne or hair on your hands -- or
lots of other anomalies. None of these have any basis in truth.
People in
relationships or married don't masturbate.
Wrong again. (Many couples masturbate mutually, or just enjoy masturbating
alone).
"Masturbation
will stunt your growth"
Nice try, but wrong again.
“If
you masturbate you'll never be able to have children” I get this question as an e-mail often, this is just not true,
who started this myth? If that was true none of us would be on this
planet.
None of these
myths are true. And while there will always be those who make religious
or moral arguments against masturbation -- if you are Catholic you
may have been taught that it is “sinful to spill seed”
or masturbation is “seed wasted”. So, that is something
you will have to decide for yourself. When done in moderation, masturbation
seems to be a common, "normal", healthy way to get sexual satisfaction.
It is one that is safe and does NOT run the risks of pregnancy, STDs or incompatible sexual preferences. After all, you know what you
like.
Of course use
good sense while masturbating. If you are sore from spending TOO
much time with yourself take a break from it and let your body heal.
Getting irritated skin is not uncommon, so don't panic and use plenty
of water soluble lubrication next time. (Like Astroglide ® or
Wet ®). If irritation persists see your health care provider.
Remember, lubrication! Especially you guys (or gals using a vibrator).
If you are
spending a lot of your time masturbating and it is interfering with
your school work, your job, or the rest of your life, then you might
want to stop and think about why you are doing it so much. A person
can become obsessed with anything.
Benefits
to Masturbation?
Absolutely. Masturbation can help relieve stress and:
Relieve
menstrual cramps
Help for insomnia (i.e. when a person is having trouble falling
asleep)
Stimulate the immune system to help build up resistance to common
infections
Release mood elevating hormones
Reduce embarrassing spontaneous erections for teen males
Reduce the number of unwanted wet
dreams for young men
For
more on Male or Female Orgasm, see Male
Orgasm or Female
Orgasm. For recommended reading on masturbation,
see Female
Orgasm. There
are more sexuality links in there also.
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking
the shame out of masturbation. Dodson explains how anyone can learn
to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love.
The
Penis Book - An Owner's Manual for Use, Maintenance, and Repair Designed
to help men understand more about sex, and to provide practical
information about the make body -- how it works and what to do
if things go wrong. The book will help to allay common fears,
correct misconceptions, and lead to a more physically and emotionally
satisfying life. B & W line drawings throughout.
Relieve
menstrual cramps
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
